Fight or Flight

Tags

college, discussion, february, friendships, happiness, joy, life, new years, photography, pictures, relationships, resolutions, serious, thoughts

If you truly loved someone, would you fight for them or let them go?

This is a huge question for me.  I’ve literally spent months on end pondering this.  I’ve asked countless people, gotten a whole slew of responses, and I am no closer to finding the answer.

Unfortunately, the debate is split pretty evenly.  A lot of people say you should move on and let them live their life because it’s best for them.  Still, others say that you should fight with all you are for that person.  I have no idea where I stand.

Am I supposed to just stop liking this girl because it will never be?  Or do I stick it out and hope for the best?  I don’t know the definitive answer, but I will share some knowledge about each way to go.

Moving on is one of the hardest things to do in life.  They say that it’s the best thing to do, though.  By staying and wishing that one day you will be together, you just get your hopes up to be eventually crushed.  Don’t waste your time and effort on someone who is unavailable.  In order to move on, you need to stop thinking about that person, but what happens if you see that person everyday?  Well, life just got a whole lot harder for you.  If seeing them everyday makes you fall deeper and deeper in love with them, maybe you should just ride the storm and hope for the best.

Sticking it out means that you will stand by this person and just pray and wait.  This may come with some problems of its own—like being put in the friend zone (which I will talk about tomorrow).  You just keep hoping that maybe one day the fates will conspire in your favor and everything will work out between you two.  But maybe they won’t.  Maybe you are just setting yourself up for rejection.  If you hate getting depressed by being by them but not actually being with them, maybe you should just move on.

And so we have the infinite loop here.  Which route is the path to take?  If you know, please tell me.

See ya tomorrow,

Scott N.

Without

Tags

after effects, college, discussion, february, friendships, grades, happiness, joy, life, new years, photography, pictures, relationships, resolutions, serious, sleep, thoughts, videos

Guess who isn’t sleeping again?

This time it’s not entirely because of the thing that always is bothering me.  I have an exam tomorrow and I have to stay up all night studying.  I have already had two examsthis semester and they both have been awful.  I should say that I have been awful.  I need to get my grades up from last semester.

In fact, in order to graduate, I need a 3.5 GPA.  My record high was last semester which was a 1.96.  I was proud that I brought it up since high school, but apparently that’s not good enough for anyone else.  So much for feeling like I accomplished something.

So let me ask you guys something.  Can you live without someone you couldn’t live without?  I know it’s a stupid question because it kind of answers itself, so maybe I should rephrase.  If you cared for someone so much, could you let them go?  I’m kind of struggling with this.  I’ve been struggling with this.

I would love to get some insight here.  Is there a person you care so deeply for that you can’t imagine life without them?  What if you had to let them go?  I’m still trying to figure all this out.  I’ll talk more about this tomorrow when I discuss fight or flight in relationships.  Something that has been on my mind constantly lately.

See ya tomorrow,

Scotty N.

P.S. I have decided that since I cannot find my neighbor’s lightsabers, the next video will involve fire.  Stay tuned…

Valentine’s Day

Tags

february, photography, pictures, valentines day

It sucked.

See ya tomorrow,

Scotty N.

Tomorrow

Tags

college, february, friendships, happiness, life, new years, photography, pictures, relationships, resolutions, serious, sleep, thoughts, valentines day, videos

I am painfully aware of what tomorrow is, and it sucks.

Valentine’s Day—or reminder of how alone you are day—is probably the worst time of year.  Anyone who says they like to be single on Valentine’s day for whatever reason is just trying to make themselves feel better.  Expect little from me tomorrow.

In other news, I spent a good chunk of my paycheck today paying for other people to do stuff.  I think I spent at least half of my paycheck and I only got it just today.  I don’t mind paying for others so much, but I do hate how I dropped $30 on some headphones that kinda suck.

They sound great, but I bought them because they had a microphone in them so I could talk on my phone hands-free.  Only problem is the microphone is way down at my belly button.  Stupid placement.  I had to rig the entire thing with twist ties to try and get it where I wanted it.  It looks awful and doesn’t really function well, but at least they sound a lot better than Apple headphones.

I also have not done any work again this weekend so that’s awesome.  My grades are gonna suck and I’m most likely going go fail.  Life is clearly going my way.

Well, I’m going to be heading to bed now because I have had two hours of sleep last night and feel awful.  Gonna feel even more awful tomorrow so I can’t wait.

See ya tomorrow,

Scotty N.

Also, a quick update.  My next videos are going to start being longer and tell stories.  The latest one will be a classic lightsaber effect.  Stay tuned.

Change of Plans

Tags

after effects, college, comics, discussion, february, friendships, happiness, life, machinima, movies, new years, photography, pictures, podcast, resolutions, sleep, thoughts, videos

So having been thrown off my schedule these past few weeks, I have decided to change things around.

Instead of having to make a video every night, I now will have to work on a video every night.  This means that I will not be posting videos everyday but instead be uploading one every few days.  That way I can cut down tons of hours of work in one day to about one to two hours of work a day.  This is gonna help out a lot.

So today was actually pretty exciting.  Me and my neighbor—who is going to be my roommate next semester—have decided to start making a machinima.  For those of you who don’t know, a machinima is basically using video games to create a cinematic production—i.e. Red vs Blue.

We looked up all of the equipment we will need and the expenses won’t even be $50.  Split two ways is actually pretty cheap for a good amount of stuff.  We are going to start ordering the stuff tomorrow after we work out some details over brunch.

His excitement matching mine is another reason I think we are basically the same person.  We have decided on three things we really want to make.  First off is the machinima which will voice a lot of people on our hall as well.  Second is a comic book that he wrote that I will be bringing to life with color and words.  Lastly, we really want to do a podcast sometime.

Now I have done a podcast before with my friends from high school, but it never really took off.  I made a whole website dedicated to it and everything, but it just wasn’t landing.  We did about six episodes before it was over.  I really want to redo it and make everything a lot better.  I had such a blast making it that I hate how it ended.  I really want to redeem myself here.

So that’s basically what I have coming in the future.  I may make a website for all of this as well, but that probably won’t be until over the summer when I have more free time.  I will say, though, that I am super excited to turn all of these ideas into a reality. I’m obviously not going to tackle all of these at once, but I do wish to do them all eventually.

See ya tomorrow,

Scotty N.

Nothing Happened

Tags

after effects, college, discussion, february, happiness, joy, life, new years, photography, pictures, resolutions, serious, sleep, thoughts, videos

So literally nothing happened today… awesome!

I hate when I waste an entire day doing nothing when I have a lot to do.  I always feel worse the next day so I neglect doing anything then too and suddenly I have not accomplished anything during my weekend.

I have tons of stuff to do and work to complete for the week that I would much rather not do at the last minute.  I need to do better in my classes and I am sick of how all of this crap is getting in my way.  I can’t sleep until I make these videos and they are taking forever.  When I do sleep, I sleep in way late and wake up at 4 like I did today.  Then I stay awake for at least twelve hours—most of the time more—and wallow in how I have wasted the day sleeping.

I feel like my life is spiraling out of control and nothing can save it.  Man, this whole blog started out really happy and encouraging and now it is nothing but depressing.  What have I done?

Maybe I should just stop.  Maybe I’m only hindering when I was supposed to be helping.  I may be calling it quits soon if I can’t even make it through February’s challenge.  I have obviously bitten off more than I can chew.

See ya tomorrow (maybe),

Scotty N.

(Video Update)

Life is Hard

Tags

after effects, Arrested Development, Avatar: the Last Airbender, college, discussion, february, friendships, happiness, life, movies, new years, photography, pictures, resolutions, scott pilgrim vs the world, serious, sleep, thoughts, TV, videos

So you may have noticed that I took a day off yesterday—there’s a reason for that.

I have been so overwhelmed with all sorts of things that it became impossible for me to dedicate any time to do a blog or video yesterday.  This week has been tougher on me than probably any other week.  I stayed up all night twice and missed work twice and a few classes.  I’m sure I’ve stated before why I’m not sleeping great, but it’s just out of hand now.

I can’t sleep unless I’m exhausted because I can’t be left alone to think in my bed whilst trying to drift off to sleep.  If I am by myself with nothing to do, all of the sudden the depression sets in.  I think of all the horrible things in my life and how I’ve screwed a lot of things up.  I can’t handle all of that so I just can’t go to sleep unless I am so tired that I will instantly pass out.  Until I reach that state, I have to be engaged in something.  This is why I can’t sleep.

I hate it so much.  I just wish that I were more competent with how I handle things.  None of this would be happening if it weren’t for my own stupidity.  That’s what sucks—I have no one to blame but myself.  Even worse, I don’t know how to fix all this.

I doubt I’m going to get back on track next week or the week after that.  It’s getting worse.  It’s becoming too much to bear.  I can’t stand up straight with all this weight on my shoulders, and I can’t share the load.

Anyway, I definitely have an obsession with Scott Pilgrim.  My friend downloaded the soundtrack the other day and we have been listening to it like crazy.  He also got the comics so we’ll all be reading those this weekend as well.

Have you ever become so attached to a TV show or movie that you genuinely feel like the characters are real and your sad that their story is over?  I have only felt like that for three things in my life—Scott Pilgrim, Avatar: the Last Airbender, and Arrested Development (nerd points if you see the connection there).

So since I am so addicted to anything Scott Pilgrim, I had to make another Scott Pilgrim related video.  This one is the basic effect where lightening bolts come out of any instrument they play.  It’s not exactly like the movie, I know, but it’s not bad.

Thanks for putting up with me for so long, guys.  Please like, follow, and comment if you enjoy what I’m putting out here.  I also would like some feedback to let me know what you think.

See ya tomorrow,

Scotty N.

(Video Update)

Day Off

I’m taking the day off.

See ya tomorrow,

Scotty N.

Drunk Advice

Tags

after effects, college, discussion, drunk, february, friendships, happiness, life, movies, new years, omegle, photography, pictures, relationships, resolutions, serious, sleep, thoughts, videos

It’s hard to talk about other things when you always have only one thing on your mind.

For a while now I have been talking basically about the same thing over and over again. I’m sure that it annoys all of you.  It’s just that I really don’t have anyone I can talk to about this stuff so I guess I put it all on you guys.

The only problem is that I have to be super vague when posting things on here because I don’t know who reads these so it doesn’t really give me much of an outlet.  So that’s when I turn to my trusty anonymous chat site—Omegle.

My very first chat was with a drunk guy who was actually very profound.  So instead of me writing about what he said, I’m just going to give a quick list of some of my favorites.

“You don’t skimp on your shoes, your bed, or your health—with your shoes and your bed, you will spend the majority of your life in one or the other”

“The friend zone is worse than rejection, but don’t forget, if she rejects you she’s probably losing a friend—a friend is special enough.”

“FYI, if you’re listening to a drunk guy, you need to get a sense of agency in your life.”

Wow.  Just wow.  I don’t know if any of this is actually profound in anyway or if it was just what I needed to hear, but I’m glad I heard it.  We ended up having a good conversation about all types of things for an hour or so and he was just really awesome.  It’s funny how a drunk man at 5am could help me more than most.

Well I’m going to pull off another 33+ hour day so this is very much going to suck.

See ya tomorrow,

Scotty N.

(Video Update)

33 Hours

Tags

after effects, college, discussion, february, friendships, happiness, life, movies, new years, photography, pictures, relationships, resolutions, sleep, videos

At this point I have been awake for thirty-three hours and counting.

I honestly should just make a separate blog that chronicles my sleeping habits because that’s all I seem to talk about on here.  The worst part is I’m not tired.  I’ve caught a second wind and who knows when I’ll be able to fall asleep.  I have to wake up tomorrow at 8:30am so I’m going to try and wrap it up as soon as possible to try and catch up on my sleep.

I am running out of things to do tutorials on so today I made up my own effect.  I like it but I know that it could be much better.  It’s basically a glitching hand inspired by Scott Pilgrim.  I wish my lens flare plug-in was working so that I could add some awesome effects to make it look more legit.

A lot of guys on my hall want to start getting involved with my videos which is kinda cool except the things they are asking me to do are kind of ridiculous.  I still have to film some outside footage of a building and/or car for a future project…

So I had a pretty awesome day despite the fact that I haven’t slept at all.  I hung out with friends, watched some tv and just had some fun.  I have been missing out on fun I think.  I mean, there is a difference between goofing off and actually having fun.  To me, having fun is all about other people.  Just chilling by myself is not as much fun as hanging out with other people.

Well that about sums it up for today I guess.  I’m about to head off to bed where I may or may not sleep.

What is the longest you have ever stayed up?  Let me know in the comments.

See ya tomorrow,

Scotty N.

(Video Update)